We’re on This Journey Together – Part One

Originally posted May 26 2018 (on old site)

I would like to make a statement that at the present time, we do not have a diagnosis of what we are dealing with. We have some ideas and for those reading this, please feel free to comment on my post here. This will be my first in a series of posts in regards to my son – and it is the first time I have posted in depth about him.

Quite a few months ago, my wife and I were going through something that a lot of people before us have gone through, and many more will go through after us. It is something that we as parents fear more than anything, and also may be in denial about from the start. There is something wrong with my child. We didn’t really think anything too much until late last year, when our son, nearly two – wasn’t hitting some of the milestone’s he should have been. He started walking much earlier than his big sister did – at 14 months – she at 17. But unlike his big sister, who was talking before she was walking – there was no words coming from him.

It had already been decided that I was going to be a part time stay at home dad to do the kindergarten runs with our daughter. I had, and still do have suspicions about our son. I decided to take the first step in January this year, and do two things – enroll our son in swimming lessons, and take that first visit to the Dr.

My first initial thought was that it was his hearing. And this will be the basis of this post.

The main reason we thought it was his hearing was due to the lack of response we were getting from him. He would not listen when we called him, he would sit close to the TV when his favorite movies were being played, and a basic lack of receptive skills. I had visited a few local hearing centers – one flat out did not do children under a certain age, the other only did with a GP referral – so off I went to the GP.

My overthinking brain was on high alert as I was sitting in the waiting room. “No you’re silly, there’s nothing wrong with him” “he’s a just a slow developer, he’ll be fine” was what I was expecting to be met with. But the exact opposite occurred. Sincere empathy and understanding and a very big “good on you” for wanting what was best for your son. He recommended a clinic that was a little out the way, but was one of the best places to go in the city for a hearing loss diagnosis. I booked the appointment, and a few weeks later we were sitting in another waiting room.

The test did not go well. While by no means did he fail the test, he did not pass. We were asked to come back in a couple more weeks to get a second opinion. Life happened for those few weeks, and we went back. This time both my wife and I were there, and we got a much more positive outcome. A pass. We had ticked a box of what is not the cause of his delay.

While this was going on, we had also scrapped swimming lessons. Sadly he was just not participating in them as much as we had liked, and was hindering the class. As much as I want to admit it was for his betterment, it was also for my own sanity – as I was in the water with him at all times.

He is now happily enrolled in a Kinder”gym” – a room full of kids activities and equipment (which is also twice the amount of time per week, and half the cost) – but is less structured, and allows him to play at his own terms.

More to follow in due time.

Thanks for reading.

 

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How Long Will Our Kids Love Us?

Originally posted on old site on 1st May 2018

I make it a note to tell my parents every time I see them now that I love them. Even if it is at the end of the visit – on the way out the door as we hug goodbye – I make sure I say it… now.

I think there was a long stretch of my twenties, where I didn’t say it – and I wish I did – but I’m making up for it now. Why? Because every time my daughter says it to me, my heart melts a bit. I’m sure if my son could speak – he would say it – his reaction to seeing me after even five minutes of absence says that he does. Our visit to the paediatrician recently she noted that he was

I’m holding onto every precious moment that I have with these kids. They are still young enough – and so am I. I’m forever grateful to live in an age where I can simply pull out my phone and video my kids at the age they are – so I can view them at later stages of their life – when they might not love me and their mother so much.

I worry about this even now – but I am touched by a recent event I witnessed. I am lucky enough with my new job to take my time with clients while serving them. One of my clients recently was a guy in his early forties. He had two boys – one was roughly thirteen, the other I’d put at ten or eleven. The younger of the two was very cuddly with his dad – sitting on his lap at times. It makes me thankful that I still have years of love from these two rugrats ahead of me.

Since taking on this role of stay at home dad, I feel like the love I have been receiving from them has strengthened. I have always been quite nurturing when it comes to them, and I’m not afraid to show affection.

I’m forever grateful that I have been lucky enough to have them in my life as well. Some people are not fortunate enough to experience the joy of parenthood.

This is growing Up…

 

A bit of a “lifestyle” post today – figured I’d venture away from just parenting – and tell you all a little tale of me.
If you knew me in my teen years you’d know that my major hobby was movies, and to a
lesser extent as I left my teen years, and into young adulthood – television. I would buy the sets as they came out, and as my knowledge on how to “gain them without purchase” I would then burn them to DVD to watch at a later stage. I had so many shows like this it was able to fill folder after folder of fairly sizeable DVD/CD cases.

I had many DVD’s still in their original case (once kids came into the picture, and our house was filled with their stuff) put into storage into cardboard boxes – unlikely to see the light again (or until we get a bigger house, but with the current situation, that is unlikely to be for many a years to come).
I had seen recently that a friend on Facebook had taken all of their movie DVD’s and put them into folders just like I had with my (non purchased) TV shows, so I thought to myself, it was time I did the same thing. I went to one of the main stores
that Adelaide has, and found what I was after, but was shocked at the price ($18 for a
CD/DVD folder)!! It was later brought to my attention, that this was the going rate for
such a product, and maybe I am starting to show my age in thinking “I’m not paying for
that”.
I came home, and in going through some of the shows that I had downloaded – while I
admit, they are quality shows (including the likes of Nurse Jackie, Californication, and
Weeds, just to name a few), they were shows that I can’t see myself ever sitting down and
watching again. They existed in both a timeline of its own era – the early to mid “naughties” and also in my own era of my mid twenties. I did not have children, and I was either not married, or just married when I was watching them. I watched them religiously then – but they also ended at the same time my enjoyment for them did too. I felt it was time for me to let go of this phase in my life. I then did something surprised myself, I threw them out. I started getting rid of this tv collection that I had spent years amassing, watching – and obsessing over, in order to make room for those movies to go into those cases.

I’ve since then gone through and thrown out piles of items that I have not used in years, and admittedly should not have bought in the first place. While there are still a few things that I’m yet to part with – that my wife will probably tell you was a waste of money – and that I was never going to use them – they reflect who I am now, and I’m sure in five years, when I am forty,  I’ll be throwing all that stuff out too – I just hope we have that bigger house by then!

As always, thanks for reading.

Blogging Ideas

Original Post 11/4/18 on old site

 

How does one find the ideas of what to write about????

I started blogging early this year – and thought that once I went part time I would

1) Have plenty of time to sit and write, and spill all the idea’s from my brain onto a blank document and would have people knocking at my door to write for them (after a few years of course), and…

2) Have plenty of ideas of what to write about

Well three months in and I’ve done about half a dozen “actual” blogs.

I’ve established a few key problems. One is time management. I’m shit at it, and usually if I’m having a good morning up until about 8.30 with the kids, I’m usually running around, stressing myself out for the next 15-20 minutes before we run off for Kindy for Vivian.

The other is the medium in which I was trying to get my voice across. I was starting with Facebook, and while this page is still open, I have just 32 followers on there, they are all personal friends from my personal Facebook page (well at least 27 or so). Today, I have just bang on 250 on Twitter, and I don’t believe any of them are personal friends who know me in person. I prefer this – as I feel I can open up to strangers – more than I can with people I know personally.

In the coming months I will be posting like this more regularly – on my new site. I do hope some of you are reading this. I plan on opening up more to you all – just finding the ideas of what to write about is the key issues! I look forward to continue to read your blogs also (as many as I can at least) – and continuing to grow my own.

I’ve bought myself a few notebooks, that I usually have one on me at all times now. Any time I have an idea – I pop it in the book. What do you all do for inspiration, or to get ideas? Drop me a line on the tweet I’ve tagged this post in – or if you have come across this website – check me out on Twitter – as this is my primary social media now.

Thanks for reading, and hope you all have a great day and life!

Why Did I get a Vasectomy?

 

 

Not long after the birth of our second child, our son – my wife and I made the serious decision for me to have a Vasectomy. We had tossed it in the air about having baby number three later down the track, but we ultimately decided at the time that two kids was enough for us. People around us had more. My brother has three. My cousin has five. Two was our magic number. Plus, we had a boy and a girl which was the pigeon pair (a term by the way, I hadn’t heard of until we had a boy and a girl – and I’ve made sure I’ve used it myself now to those who I speak to who are expecting the same).

One of our main reasons for me to get the snip instead of my wife getting her tubes tied during/after the birth of our son was a medical one. It would have been far easier for me to get this done myself, and there would have been far less risks, during the procedure, and recovery/healing. Now this is a personal medical issue that I won’t go into detail.

Once I had decided to get the procedure done, it was actually pretty basic and easy – and financially it was not overly painful either. Thanks to Australian private health who kicked in most of the payments. I have read some other gents’ blogs who have mentioned that it is not that easy for them, and I empathise with them on this.

My first Dr visit was to my GP, who I had been seeing for about 10 years at this point. He too, a dad of two, understood my reasoning. There was little fight back, I knew what I wanted. I was in my early thirties, and had all the kids I wanted. He gave me a referral to an urologist – who I met with for a short meeting a few weeks before the surgery. He too gave no fight back, of ‘are you sure’ – and a few weeks later I had the surgery done. He was mind you the funniest 60ish year old surgeon I had met – and gave me what I needed to have done in the thirty days after surgery (with or without my wife’s help).

It’s been almost two years since I have had the procedure done, and my opinion of it remains the same, if not stronger. Two children for my wife and I was more than enough. I will continue to let you in on my personal life, especially with that of my son – and this will give you a better understanding of why this procedure was right for us. I will be quite vehemently pro getting a vasectomy if you are able to. While I can only give you my version of how/why I got it. I can’t give an opinion on how these Dr appointments might differ in other countries, or even the cost. It is also, as I have put it quite frankly taking one for the team for your partner. My wife went through enough with the birth of both our kids. It was my turn to make a sacrifice with my body.

To be a bit sooky for a moment. I love my wife. I love her as much as I did the day we had our son, if not more. I don’t imagine not loving her – but if a time comes where we don’t love each other – and we have new partners, who want kids – I don’t know if I have it in myself to be one of those middle aged dad’s. Let’s just hope this is a life situation that never becomes.